Who Am I?

When I first started this blog. All of 30 seconds ago. I thought I would have a lot to write. I sat and rocked my sleepless child and thought about all the witty and interesting things I could express here. So now I've made said blog, and I've posted twice. Part of it is just because I'm a stay at home mom of a 5 month old, obviously. But part of the reason that I haven't posted much of anything yet is I'm still trying to decide whether or not what I have to say is important enough to put out into the interwebs for all to see. I mean, I doubt anyone really WILL see it outside of my followers follower. Maybe this whole blog thing was just a lapse in judgement induced by sleep deprivation. Who knows. I guess I'll just go with it for now. Maybe I'll keep it up, maybe I won't.

After a two week stint of torturous nights, things have gotten slightly better around here, sleep wise. Beebee D has decided he does actually enjoy sleeping now. (Eureka! Perhaps he really IS my child!) But only while he is in bed with mommy. I'm okay with that though. My back disagrees, but I don't listen. He is only going to be this little once. And he is already gotten so big. In most ways, I feel like I handle being a new mom pretty well. I do everything for him because my hubby works really hard so that I am able to stay home. Yet, that hasn't really bothered me a bit. Even the sleep deprivation thing I can handle. I never slept well before or during my pregnancy so I'm used to it anyway. But MAN, three days of virtually no sleep for me (and I mean NO sleep) literally made me feel like I was going to die. I was afraid I would pass out while playing with him on the floor and when I woke up he would have learned how to crawl, gotten down the stairs and out of the house or something. And then someone would probably steal him because he is so pretty. Thankfully, I have my sanity back. Mostly.

Ok so since we are all new here I thought I would share a few random, weirdy facts about moi. Most are ridiculous, you've been warned.

1. I'm 27 but I feel like I have been 30 for years now. I'm married to an amazing man and I have one son, Beebee D(don't worry, that's not his real name).
2. My first baby is a rescue pitbull. He is 7ish(possibly older, we aren't sure) now and we have had him for 6 years already. He looks ferocious but spends his days snuggling on the couch and begging for love. Like, he would starve himself if it meant you would love on him. He loves love. Shelter/rescue dogs are THE best. Get one, you wont be sorry. Which leads me to....
3. I am a HUGE animal lover. I love them all. Fat, skinny, old, young, mean. Love them. Except reptiles. And I'm allergic but not enough to care.
4. I worked as a Vet Tech before I became a mom. It was probably the hardest job physically, emotionally and mentally that I have ever had but I have never loved a job as much as that one. I saw so many things that I will cherish. And I laughed a lot. The people I worked with were one of a kind. I waddled my big pregnant belly around that place until I could waddle no more. I left 10 days before my due date. Everyone laughed at me and my big belly because it really was huge. It was great.
5. I am of Scandinavian decent and my husband is Ethiopian. Which makes my son awesome.
6. There were 30 people at our destination wedding. And over 500 at our wedding reception.
7. This summer I will have been with my husband 9 years. And we've been married for 3.
8. I didn't finish college. I used to regret it but now I am glad I didn't have a big fancy career to give up so I could stay home with Beebee.
9. If I had a do over though, I probably would have gone to cosmetology school or vet school.
10. I hate talking on the phone. I hate calling people.
11. I'm pretty sure my house is haunted. Or I am. But the one time I actually got scared, I told them the only ghosts allowed are ones that love me. True story.
12. I am OBSESSED with breastfeeding. I could talk about it all day. Any time I meet someone who breastfeeds I get excited. It's like a secret society.
13. I can't watch too much news or I'll get upset. There is some scary stuff going on in the world and my little emotional self can't handle it.
14. I love crafts. I can't stand to spend money on something that I think I could make. Beebee's nursery is case and point. Perhaps I will dedicate a post to my DIY nursery soon.
15. I am CHEAP. I shop the clearance rack, I use coupons and I get SUPER pumped when I save a bunch of money. And I hate wasting things. Even if I got something for free/as a gift. I can't stand it if it can't be used.
16. I was beyond excited to use the same bassinet for my son that I slept in as well as my sister and cousins. He slept in it for MAYBE a grand total of 4 hours over the course of the 8 weeks I tried to use it.
17. I have a lot of strong opinions but most of the time I can't bring myself to voice them.
18. I could watch HGTV all day.
19.dy               rttttggghhvb      l;pl9, jn b << that is Beebees contribution
20. I'm left handed and I hope my son is too.

Alright loves. Enough for me today. if anyone out there reads this, comment some weirdy facts about yourself!!

oh, how the tables have turned

Before I had my son I had a plan. I had a birth plan and a parenting plan. I planned on working part time from home while my child slept peacefully at nap time and planned to spend quality time with my husband at night after putting him to bed easily at 8pm. Yeeeeeah, I'm funny right?!? Let's all just laugh at me for a minute....

Okay, that's enough now. Moving on...

I read A LOT while I was pregnant. I was SO excited to be having this baby, I waited a long time! I wanted to do everything right and perfect. I already knew I wanted to breastfeed, I wanted to sleep train him at 8 weeks, I wanted an epidural during his birth, I was never going to co-sleep/bed share. Basically, I was going to have a perfect delivery and a perfect child.  And let me tell you right now that while yes, my child is perfect(every child is to his mother, am I right?) and yes I breastfeed, EVERYTHING and I honestly, hysterically, unbelievably ridiculously mean EVERYTHING else was a joke. My kid showed me. I was soooooo worried about having to come home with this little baby and actually have to keep him alive. I couldn't believe the doctors and nurses would just let me walk out of that hospital with this kid! Don't they know I have NO CLUE what I'm doing? I was so worried, in fact, that I thought I needed all of these things figured out before he even arrived. But alas, we have both survived and I have thrown all my plans away like stinky trash. I've adapted to no sleep and I have learned over the last 5 months how to be a mom. And guess what, most of it came instinctually. My views on parenting have changed completely. My precious epidural wore off so I ended up doing a natural birth for the parts that really counted. I co-slept out of necessity but grew to love it(I have since transitioned to the crib, but still bring him to bed sometimes). I feed on demand. I went from babywise to attachment style. And I've never looked back. I didn't really have a choice in the matter anyway. Baby D runs the show around here.

Some of the things I have decided to do with beebee I am really proud of but in some areas I feel like a total failure so I can be kind of insecure about my parenting choices around more seasoned moms. I appreciate anyone's advice but a lot of things people offer me, just don't sit so well. So I don't do it. I do only what feels right for my child.

I guess more later since I am falling asleep at the keys and I'm fairly certain this post is incredibly boring. Little beebee is asleep which is pretty rare so I need to take advantage and get some sleep myself.

goodnight world....

What are this?

Ok, so...um...where do I start? Do me a favor real quick before we get going and google, "Jenna Marbles What Are This" and watch the video. Do it. You're welcome. I love her.

I am not a fabulous writer so don't expect anything fancy here, that's not what this about. (Although, use the wrong there/their/they're or your/you're around me and I WILL judge you. Sorry.) This is just a little place for me to express myself. ....To all none of you. Or maybe someone will read this, that would be cool too.

ANYWAY. (I go off on tangents. A lot. I'm the worst storyteller ever, ask anyone.) The other night I was rocking my little beebees(that's baby for anyone outside my inner circle) back to sleep for the MILLIONTH time that night and I thought about things like I always do when I'm staring at the same four walls of his room. At first I thought I should write a letter to him every night that I am up with him all night and make him read it someday as punishment. Or birth control perhaps. But then I realized, that would be A LOT of letters. Considering he has only slept through the night ONCE in his five and a half month existence. So, then I thought maybe I should write a little bloggie. The next day my very best friend started a blog of her own about her battle with a rare condition that makes her brain think it has a tumor when it doesn't. (Go read it here. you're welcome again) I was inspired and decided no time like the present. And here we are.

Basically, what I hope this will be is a positive place for me to share things. Like how awesome being a mom is but how I am literally doing everything opposite of what I planned. Which I find kind of hilarious. In that, "you'll look back on this and laugh one day" kind of way. So many things pop in my head while I'm nursing or rocking or otherwise mothering my child. He fights sleep like no other baby on earth so I usually have a lot of time to think. Hence, the moonlight momma thing.

I wanted to say more but I think I'll leave it at that because I can hear beebees fussing downstairs with his daddy. Perhaps I'll write more later....